Oh, hey! Ça va ? As promised, I am back today with the recap of this series, The Stories Behind The Playlist. Is this your first time here? First, hey, thanks for stopping by! Second, it’s a terrible idea to read this post first—I mean, it’s literally the last one of the series. Start with the intro, then browse previous episodes here.
Happy reading! 😊
Reflecting on the series
This series stems from an initial idea I had while writing my memoir, to include a list of songs at the end of my book and encourage readers to check them out, hoping they’d be able to match each song to what they had read. I even thought about ways to incorporate some stories you’ve read here (especially those that do not specifically appear in The Book), but I then realized I would need more than two or three pages. I don’t know how I started writing this much, haha.
I truly am grateful to all of you who read my stories. Some were harder to tell than others, but I do not regret sharing them. Sometimes, it felt like I was writing another version of The Book, which, interestingly, made it easier and harder at the same time. Easier because I’d written about most of these stories already, but then harder because rewriting them also meant revisiting places I did not particularly enjoy.
But as always, I did it for someone somewhere who has gone or is going through similar situations. And if anything, I hope these stories helped you know me a bit better.
Bonus: The Wall of Motivational Quotes and Verses
I mentioned The Wall of Motivational Quotes and Verses a few times throughout The Stories and in The Book. I also sprinkled a few pictures of certain quotes or verses from that wall in certain stories, but I want to spare you the struggle of relying solely on your imagination to get a sense of what The Wall actually looked like.
This wall is a collection of quotes and verses I took from the Bible, from songs, the internet, and even social media. I initially started writing those encouraging words in one of my journals, and eventually transferred some of them onto pieces of paper that I glued to my wall. I did this in October 2018, in an effort to give me the strength to keep going whenever I felt like giving up. I glued the pieces of paper right above my desk so that when my eyes wandered up from my books or laptop, they would come across at least one quote.
I took those colored pieces of paper with me to every apartment I moved to afterwards, though I did not glue them to a wall anymore—I kept them in an old planner. I had no idea I would use them again, let alone in this way. And I am so glad I kept them.
As with merely repeating affirmations, reading these quotes and verses did not instantly give me the boost I needed. In fact, there were times when I didn’t even believe or want to read any of them. But other times they helped, and I hope they comfort you in your journey at least as much as they did in mine.
Here are the individual pieces of paper. Yes, I draw little hearts instead of dotting my i’s.
And here is the actual Wall. These aren’t the best pictures, but I couldn’t find anything better (I even had to crop myself out of the last two, which were selfies with The Wall showing in the background). I promise I had no idea in 2018 that I would be writing a book two years later and staring a blog another four years later to show this wall.
The first picture was clearly taken before February 2019, because I hadn’t added the yellow circle with the lyrics from Song #3 yet. Read that story to understand how I added it (or refresh your memory 😉).
What happened to The Wall?
Over the years, my walls have looked different depending on what was going on in my life at a particular time. As mentioned before, I kept the pieces of paper but never glued them to a wall again. However, in September 2019, when I moved into my first studio apartment in Chicago, I got myself a corkboard to plan my study sessions for the Level I CFA exam I’d just registered for. Overtime, I added verses and words of encouragement as well as other things that represented what I liked or wanted to accomplish—like a vision board. I took this board with me to Toronto (or should I say shipped it there) and continued to use it that way.
Again, I never thought I’d use them in any way, so I didn’t take many pictures of this board over the years. I do have the two below that I’d like to share, and I’ll explain what the things I had there meant to me at the time.
#1: Well… that’s a fact.
#2: This was me keeping my eyes on the prize, haha.
#3: I absolutely did not chill on Sundays. At the time of making this study plan, I definitely underestimated how long it was going to take me to go through the material (especially Financial Reporting and Analysis!)
#4: I loved portfolio management. Working at a private equity firm is what made me want to pursue the CFA certification and made me consider going the investment route. There was also this young man I followed on YouTube who really inspired me. He was an investment analyst and a charterholder. My ultimate career goal was strategy consulting, but I thought I’d maybe do finance in the U.S. before switching to consulting in Canada. Haha. Cute.
If you don’t know, I took Level 1 twice and failed each time, but I have absolutely no regrets. I truly liked what I was studying (except for fixed income) and on both exams, my results in the portfolio management section were above average, so I was glad that I at least performed well in what I liked the most.
#1: This is my second-favorite Bible verse (do you know which is my absolute favorite?). It’s so reassuring and feels like a hug. Like, can you imagine someone telling you they’re with you all the time until infinity and they mean it and it’s actually what they do? Just imagine.
#2: I wrote this to myself at a time I was running low on confidence. If you read The Book or even the stories, you know what I was going through in March 2021. I was already in Toronto. I applied to and was rejected from my dream company. I lost my job. I failed the CFA Level 1 for the second time. I was in school and my grades were suffering (for my liking). I was bad at case interviews. I was drained. Applying to MMB (McKinsey, Bain, or BCG) sounded delusional, but at the same time, I didn’t want to let fear get the best of me. I subsequently applied to, and was rejected from, all three companies. I was sad, but once more, I have no regrets. Why? Well… because even if you go for it and it doesn’t work out, you still win. You had the guts to head straight into something that frightened you. That type of bravery will take you places.
That type of bravery has taken me places.
#3: I love this picture, and not just because I look good in it. It was taken on March 14, 2020, the day after my twenty-fourth birthday. That Saturday was my first time celebrating my birthday out with friends in years (and having cake). In March 2020, I had obviously gone through 2017, 2018, and most importantly, 2019 (if you know, you know). It is one of the pictures where I look at myself and feel strong, proud to be who I am, and grateful for my journey. One of the pictures where my smile is a genuine smile, and yet only I knew just how many tears had been shed before. It is one of the pictures of me on the other side. The next day, March 15, 2020, Chicago entered a two-week lockdown that ended up lasting several months until after I left the U.S. Need I say how grateful I was to have been able to celebrate my birthday that year?
#4: This was another reminder not to let fear, or my failures, or what people thought about me, or what I had started to think about myself, get the best of me. I want to underscore the fact that doing this was not easy, and these quotes and verses and words of encouragement were not a “quick fix.” I didn’t read them and magically gained the strength or courage or confidence I needed to do the things I wanted to do. But they absolutely served their purpose.
And as long as I live, I will have some version of The Wall of Motivational Quotes and Verses.
That’s it for today and for this series! Thanks again for coming along and I hope you enjoyed seeing The Wall. 😊 Talk to you in my next post? Stay well and don’t forget to take care of your mental health.
Câlins,
Danielle
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